ZThemes

sunteaflower:

My mom once said to me, “if you ever have car troubles but don’t know what the problem is, don’t take it in to a mechanic because they will try to sell you things you don’t need. Instead park yourself on the side of the highway, pop your hood, and look confused. Some mechanic will pull over to help and he’ll tell you what the problem is for free.” And that’s the day I realized that I could make the patriarchy work for me.

stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

stripesdontmakeyoustraight:

If you ever think you did something embarrassing just remember that I had a really hot waiter one time and i was gonna order double pepperoni pizza but I looked him dead in the eye and accidentally asked for double penetration pizza in front of my whole family

Stop reblogging my failure

ϟ The Magic Begins Challenge: A Scene You Really Wanted To Be In The Movies, But Wasn’t

Have a biscuit, Potter.

the-misadventures-of-lele:

squidwurd:

condommodel:

today at work someone tipped me a potato

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in some countries that is a marriage proposal

Even the potato looks confused

snazziest:

people who dont flush the toilet must be eliminated

blankbabe:

we are the last generation whose baby photos weren’t taken on phones

abomasnow:

hector-inhale:

abomasnow:

itswhatyouwant-need:

abomasnow:

reasons you should fuck me:

  • my hair is really soft and it’ll feel nice balled up in your fist when you take me from behind

Why don’t girls ever actually talk like this, do you even know how much of a turn on that would be?! Do you?!

i’m a boy

Why would a guy post that ?

have you ever heard of homosexuals

friend: you really need to go outside
me: send me the link

The two of you against the world, right?
Damn straight.

whooosuper:

sexypleaseeeeee:

catherrscall:

hi:

14 CELEBRITIES POSING WITH THEIR YOUNGER SELVES

See all 14 HERE

THEY ARE ALL SO CUTE I LOVE THEM

I want younger Tom Cruise right now. In my bed. Omg.

HOW IS HE SO HOT FOR THE PAST 30 YEARS.

jaclcfrost:

[throws a chair] i just want that character to be happy

doppelenas:

Dean + being 1000% done

shego:

when people are very very nice to you and make you feel good about yourself

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